Not All Stoners Sleep Til Noon: A Guide to Productive Waking and Baking

Let’s smash the stereotype of stoners sleeping till noon, and getting nothing done. It’s just not true. People who use cannabis do more than just play video games, eat pizza, and discuss the nuances of jam bands (not that there’s anything wrong with all three). So, before you stare at screens all day—

Courtesy of Yassir Lester

—here are things to do, and consume, for early risers that want to squeeze the most out of 24 hours.

High Times

What you’re smoking: Blue Dream
What you’re doing: Morning Meditation

It makes sense to combine early-morning mindfulness with a legendary sativa-dominant hybrid. Blue Dream’s relaxing body high helps you sink into our collective consciousness while elevating your mind (and mind’s eye) in a soothing way that’ll make for an enlightened day. If you’ve never tried meditation, download a free app like Headspace, and give the OHMMMMM a go.

Courtesy of Kiva

What you’re eating: Kiva Terra Bites
What you’re doing: Hiking

Before you hit the hike toss some Kiva’s 5mg dark chocolate covered espresso beans into your favorite trail mix for an infused energy boost. Nothing’s better than exercising outside while jamming to your favorite new album (I high-key recommend Pusha T’s Daytona) to start your day. The beauty of this move is by the time you reach the summit the beans will kick in, and your view will be more magnificent than you can imagine.

Courtesy of Remedy

What you’re smoking: Durban Poison
What you’re doing: Morning Pages

I do Morning Pages everyday, and it’s changed my life. You write three pages longhand, whatever comes to mind, and just dump it on the page. It shakes off whatever’s eating at your brain so you can hit the day hard. My favorite way to feel the flow is with Remedy’s Durban Poison. I peeped Remedy’s grow when I was in Vegas, and it was the only choice I made that weekend I didn’t regret. They cultivate a spicy D.P. that tastes like citrus, and feels like jumper cables for your creativity.

Courtesy of Dosist

What you’re vaping: Dosist Bliss
What you’re doing: Yoga

My friend Alexis is a Yoga Jedi Master. She’s the type of person who’s so tuned into the universe she doesn’t walk into a room, she glides, as the air around her says, “excuse me, Sensei,” and swirls out of her way. I asked her how she starts her day, and she swears by this mood-boosting four-minute yoga routine. Mix it with a few piney hits of 9:1 THC to CBD from your Dosist pen, and rocket your chakras into bliss.

Raw Pixel/ Wikimedia Commons

What you’re drinking: Infused Cold Brew Coffee
What you’re doing: Crossword Puzzle

Pour some ice-cold infused coffee into your “World’s Greatest Dad” mug, get a sharpie, cross out the word Dad, write Dab, chuckle at this awful joke, then crack open a crossword puzzle. Whether you complete easy, medium, or hard puzzles (screw you, Friday New York Times puzzles, one day I’ll complete you) sipping a cold brew is a chill way to zing your brain into beast-mode.

Sam Sutch/ Wikimedia Commons

What you’re smoking: Sour Diesel
What you’re doing: Morning Chores

Sour Diesel is the Tom Hanks of cannabis: a universally beloved celebrity that makes everyone feel great. Take a few hits to tackle those dishes sitting in your sink since winter. You claim they’re ‘soaking’, but come on, even the flies are avoiding them by now. Nothing feels better than coming home to a home that, like Tom Hanks, is Oscar-winning.

BONUS: After you make your bed and sweep the floor, you’ll still be soaring on Sour D, and it’s the perfect pairing with a nice hot shower. That’s living the high life!

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