High End of Times: Can Marijuana Survive Nuclear War?

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Nuclear war. It might begin with the President of the United States appearing on every news network to force feed the American people their final dose of patriotic swill before signing off with, “God Bless the United States of America”. Then will come the mighty blasts of emergency sirens. From there, the nervous chatter of local newscasters will likely be heard trying to soothe their respective communities, while millions from the mainstream society make their final peace with a series of Tweets and sad-face selfies. #prayers

In the cannabis community, things will be a little different. Some of these outlaws have been on high alert for a nuclear attack ever since the United States locked horns with Cuba back in 1962. Those from the old school have already built fallout shelters and many have been stocking up on canned goods, water and rolling papers for decades. But now that President Trump and North Korea’s Kim Jong Un have engaged in a contest over who has the biggest nuclear button, everyone is starting to get a little more nervous. Many have seen the aftermath of a nuclear blast, mostly from History Channel documentaries about Hiroshima, and have come to understand that all of this Armageddon business doesn’t just spell death—it translates to something far more terrifying.

Might As Well Get Stoned, We’re All Going to Die

A recent article from the National Review suggests the majority of the country would survive the detonation of one of North Korea’s nuclear missiles. The piece, which uses the population of Manhattan as an example, claims it is a “Hollywood myth” that an entire city can be vaporized from a single strike from one of these weapons of mass destruction.

“The vast majority of New Yorkers would survive the initial blast,” the article reads, going on to say that the survival rates would improve for those people living in the suburbs and rural parts of the state.

Yet, the article fails to mention that as more of these nasty bombs are detonated across the globe it would not bode well for the rest of civilization. Even after the initial blast from the bombs turned thousands upon thousands of unprepared citizens into shadow smudges and radioactive dust, the long term fallout would be far from far out.

It would wreak havoc on the environment, decreasing the surface temperature of the Earth and thin out the ozone layer. This alone would be enough to choke out the ability for most plant life to exist and eventually send the population into a downward spiral of global famine.

But before any of this happens, many of those people clobbered by nuclear winter would be struck by terminal cancer and other diseases…crushing their will to live.

There are more than 15,000 nukes aimed at various locations across the globe. If even a small percentage of these bad mama jamas come unhinged, we are all royally screwed.

Marijuana in a Post Apocalyptic Landscape

Although the cannabis industry would inevitably bounce back in the event of a scenario with only one nuclear bomb, it is possible the devastation could be so catastrophic that the world of weed might never be the same. If this happens, it would be up to all of the marijuana enthusiasts out there with the foresight to plan for such obliteration to high times, that they’ve built underground bunkers with the ability to sustain plant life. Because depending on how the nuclear war goes down, it is conceivable, and highly plausible that all of the existing cannabis plants will be wiped from the face of the planet. Of course, along with food and clean water shortages, the weed reserves leftover to get American stoned once the dust finally settles will enter the realm of the obscene when it comes to affordability. Very few people without nuclear cannabis gardens tucked away in fall out shelters will be able to get their hands on weed without raping and pillaging for it, or selling off their firstborn into slavery.

By all accounts, a series of nuclear blasts could forcibly create a mostly sober society—at least at first—since there would be no access to seeds, clean water and sufficient lighting sources. It is even possible that the sun could be entirely blocked out by black carbon. The weed drought would carry on for years. The situation would inevitably become so dire and full of desperation that it might even prompt the human race to start relying on chemical inebriants to numb out the misery of existing in the Thunderdome of a post-apocalyptic climate. This madness would undoubtedly present its own challenges when it came to trying to rebuild a social and economic foundation.

Final Hit: Can Marijuana Survive Nuclear War?

As long as the devastation from a nuclear attack was not vast, marijuana could make a comeback. The overall impact of the blast would cripple the environment for an extended period of time, but studies have shown that the atmospheric conditions would eventually improve. But we’re talking decades.

Meanwhile, growing conditions outdoors would be uninviting. Because of this, millions of people would starve to death. Others would be killed by lunatic survivalists or end it all by their own hand. But for that part of the population that makes it through the toughest of radioactive times, those with the responsibility of beginning again from the beginning, the cannabis plant could actually be one of the few hopes for returning back to functional civilization. At the very least, it would make it more tolerable to try.

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