Stoner Sex: Bedtime Smoke Seshes, Swallowing and S&M

The post Stoner Sex: Bedtime Smoke Seshes, Swallowing and S&M appeared first on High Times.

Dear Hyapatia,
My guy has PTSD from serving in Iraq. He wakes up in the middle of the night in a panic. It is hard to get him to come into the present and relax.  I have tried gentle massage, loving kisses and outright sexual acts to get him back into reality. I was thinking of smoking with him, but it is the middle of the night. It would make me feel like we were addicts. Besides, I don’t know for sure if it will help or make it all worse. What do you think? — Avery

Dear Avery,
Smoke with him, honey. It will relax him and give him something to concentrate on that can bring him back to the here and now. It is a medicine, and when you need your medicine, you take it. Make sure it’s indica and not sativa or a heavy sativa hybrid. That could make things worse. Smoking makes you concentrate on your breath, which calms you down. By slowing the breath, we fill our lungs fully and get more oxygen to the brain. This does not make you addicts in any way! You are using a sacred plant in the way it was intended. Pot isn’t addictive, just a bit habit forming. You are not creating a habit. You are administering a centuries-old medicine to help your man.

Dear Hyapatia,
My lady says she doesn’t want to smoke before we have sex because it takes away from the sex. She wants to concentrate on the sex and be straight to do that. That doesn’t bother me, but now she wants me to stay straight too. I don’t like that. I think weed makes sex better and makes me more aware of my body, you know? —Wayne

Dear Wayne,
If your lady wants to abstain from smoking before sex that is fine, but she has no right to tell you what to do. What is good for one, might be bad for another. There is no reason that you should follow in her footsteps unless you decide you want to. That does not include staying straight just to keep her happy. Whether people are aware of it or not, we keep a tally of all the things we have sacrificed for our partners. Sometimes that blows up and things that happened years ago are thrown in someone’s face. You may hold a bit of a grudge for having to submit to her wishes. If you don’t, and really personally want to abstain, that is quite different.

Dear Hyapatia,
My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year. She is great in bed except for one thing. She won’t swallow. I have tried to tell her it isn’t as bad as she thinks. I don’t understand why she won’t do this one thing for me. It would mean so much to me to have her take all of my love. Instead, she spits it out and washes her mouth out with mouthwash. Is there something wrong with her that you could help me out with? — Barry

Dear Barry,
Why is it so important to you that she swallows? The Kinsey Institute, the authority in the world of sex studies, says it is a small percentage of women who actually swallow.  It is not unusual or wrong for her to not want to do this. If you will notice, in the adult movies, they usually come on the face if it is a blowjob scene. Most of the girls in the adult film industry that I know and have asked, do not swallow. It is not in any way a sign of rejection or her not loving you enough. Personally, I have never swallowed, and I think you should get over this petty obsession.

Dear Hyapatia,
S&M has always been the only thing that really turns me on. We have been role-playing with light bondage and discipline. I want to step it up a notch. I want her to be more intense and threatening, that really turns me on. I have told her, but she said she just doesn’t know what to do. Can you tell her how to do it? — Johnny

Dear Johnny,
The best thing to do is to go to your local sex shop and invest in some good books, magazines and especially, toys. These are all very inspirational. You need a safe word, just in case things get too intense and you want her to back off a bit or quit altogether. A word that signals her to get rougher can also be helpful. A list of scenarios will spark the imagination considerably. With a list of scenes to play out, you can pick and choose which one you prefer that night. That will avoid those awkward “what do I do now” moments, if you prepare your scene in advance.

Ask Hyapatia all of your questions regarding stoner sexuality. Email her at
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The post Stoner Sex: Bedtime Smoke Seshes, Swallowing and S&M appeared first on High Times.


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