The Ultimate Stoner Dorm Room Guide

It’s back to school time, and for many, it’s the beginning of college: college campuses will soon be swarming with new freshmen to get in everyone’s way and see how far they can push the rules. One of those rules is smoking in dorms—while we don’t condone the practice, we know you’re going to anyway.

So, to keep you safe (and make you a little cooler to new friends), here’s our list of what you need to toke in your dorm room

1. Smell-Proof Container for Bud

Fresh bud smell—especially if you’re getting particularly dank weed—expands to fill all available space (not really, but it seems like it), so if left out in the open, your RA is going to catch on very quickly. A smell-proof container is essential, and mason jars can be pretty conspicuous. Invest in a stash jar, like the Loud DankTank, to make sure the smell in your room isn’t coming from the weed.

2. Eye Drops

Bloodshot eyes are a dead giveaway, and wearing sunglasses indoors to hide them even more so. Invest in some maximum strength eye drops, and use them even when you don’t think you need to—when it comes to drugs, it’s always better safe than sorry.

3. On-The-Go Gravity Bong

Sometimes it’s best not keep any large paraphernalia around—especially when traveling—so it’s good to have something like the Smoking Steel, which allows you to convert any plastic bottle into a handy gravity bong. After use, it’s easy to dispose of the evidence until the next toke session.

4. Smoke Filter

The smoke you breathe out after toking is what’s most likely to get you caught—it never quite goes all the way out the window, and a toilet paper roll plus dryer sheet combo is a risky bet to make. A personal air filter—like the Sploofy—will help the smells from escaping and keep your room clean. Just make sure you clear the bong! 

5. Maximum Strength Air Sanitizer

No matter how hard you try, it’s inevitable – sometimes a bit of the smell is going to escape, and you’re going to need something stronger than Febreze to get the dankness out of your dorm room. Get something like Ozium that is made for heavy duty smells and accent it with a fruity or tropical candle (none of that “Clean Linen” shit).

6. Ironic Sweatshirt

 

HIGH TIMES doesn’t support hazing in the fraternal sense, but we always support getting a little hazed. Show off your antipathy to the Greek system with an ironic sweatshirt, but be careful who you offend—those same frat bros will most likely end up being your dealers throughout college.

7. A Nice Grinder

Now is the time to invest in a good grinder, as it sucks when senior year rolls around and you realize how much kief you never got the chance to smoke. You’ll want a multiple-piece metal grinder that will make it through some wear and tear, along with the tools to get the kief, without dropping it all over the place.

8. Vaporizer

If you’re particularly worried about smell, a vaporizer goes a long way in not only conserving your weed, but also in helping mask the smell. Something like the Pax 3 will keep you high, while also keeping the gym-sock dorm smell locked in. Plus, it’s small, lightweight and almost looks like a battery charger for your phone—almost.

9. A Box To Keep It All In

So—you’ve got your collection all built up, but now you need somewhere to store it. A stash box is a double edged sword: it’s a convenient place to keep everything together, but if the box is obvious, it makes it that much easier to find if your room gets searched. Get something nice and keep it hidden, or decorate it and keep it out in the open. This one is all up to you and your creativity.

RELATED: 9 Ganja Gadgets Every Stoner Dorm Room Needs
For all of HIGH TIMES’ culture coverage, click here.