Stoner Sex: Bedroom Gardens, Dank Dating, Manipulation and Cum in the Eye

Dear Hyapatia,
My boyfriend grows weed and has a huge garden in our spare bedroom. It takes up the whole room. I have been squeezing and downsizing in order to make it all fit. I am getting tired of it. I need the extra space for so many things. How can we cut down the garden size without starting World War Three? — Crowded

Dear Crowded,
The smaller the garden, the less pot you will have. I don’t know if you are growing with hydroponics or aeroponics, but that is the only way to get more out of a smaller space that I know of. If you are already growing without soil, then there is little you can do to reduce the size of your garden without cutting down on your yield.  Besides, whatever you would put in there is going to be subjected to strong light. Paper and cloth items will fade in color, and there is always the possibility of introducing pests and disease to your plants when you put something new in with them. So be careful when deciding how to use the space.

Dear Hyapatia,
How can I find a partner who is into the same things I am? I mean, how can I find someone who doesn’t drink or do drugs, but smokes weed? It is hard to find someone who is into weed, and only weed, like I am. — Jersey

Dear Jersey,
There are several websites that focus on people who are into weed and nothing else. Search for these sites, and you will find dozens of places to start looking for someone with similar interests. There are even dating sites for those of us who are just into weed.

Hey. I have been going with this girl for several months, and everything was going well until she started trying to manipulate me into smoking less. I don’t mean a little less to save money or anything, but a lot less. Like, she would be happier if I would just quit altogether. Why is it that when you find someone you like, they try to change you? — Luke

Dear Luke,
There are many people, male and female, who will do things like that. Many women will fall for a man with, what they see as a character flaw. They think that this person is great, if only… and then they try to make that person fit the mold they have in mind. Your partner cannot make you into what she wants you to be, without your cooperation. If you yourself want to change, fine, but if you don’t, you need to have a talk. You need to explain to her that you were doing fine before she came along and you know your body and your needs and you have found what works best for you. If she can’t live with that, you need to be ready to let her go and look for someone else, if you are not willing to conform to her standards.

Hi Hyapatia,
We like to watch adult movies, but I don’t like some of the scenes that I think are degrading to women. I really don’t like it when they cum on her face. My boyfriend wants me to do that, but I don’t want to. I am afraid I will get it in my eyes and stuff, and it just looks all gross to me. How can I get him off this idea? — Stacy

Dear Stacy,
Getting it in the eye is not only painful, but diseases can be spread this way. You need to sit down and explain to him that you are not a porn actress and that if that is what he really wants to do, then he needs to find someone who is into that sort of thing. To try and change you is not the answer. We all have boundaries. Everyone has a line they have drawn in their mind about certain sexual behavior they are not willing to cross. Perhaps, if you explained that he also has sexual activities he is not willing to try he would be able to equate the two and gain a better understanding.

Ask Hyapatia all of your questions regarding stoner sexuality. Email her at
Last Week’s Stoner Sex: Personal Pot Preferences, Experimentation, Gloria Leonard & Boning in Bed


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