Stoner Sex: Faking Orgasms, Too Much Pot, Erotic Edibles & Erectile Dysfunction

Dear Hyapatia,
I read your letter from a guy who was peeing in his girlfriend, and she couldn’t tell. Does this mean girls can’t tell if we fake an orgasm? — Mike

Dear Mike,
I cannot speak for all women, but I sure can tell! I can feel him pulsating, and there is a major increase in fluids. I doubt if many women would be fooled by a man trying to fake an orgasm, and why would you want to? I mean the point of sex is to show your partner affection and make everyone walk away satisfied. I think a lot of women would not say anything if a man faked an orgasm with her. She would be sympathetic, most likely, and act like everything was great. This is a reversal from what you hear about most often, which is a girl faking an orgasm. I don’t think many men can tell if a woman is faking it, if she is good at it though.

Hyapatia,
I have a boyfriend that smokes a lot of pot. I mean he is ALWAYS smoking, from sun up to sun down. He grows it so he has plenty. At first, I didn’t mind, I liked smoking with him. He always is good about handing the joint to me. It has been close to a year now that we have been living together, and I don’t mind his smoking, but I don’t want to smoke that much. Damn, I cough my lungs out every day! I try to pass on the blunt, but he is like, “What? No way. Come on, I know you want some!” and then I am smoking again. I don’t want to hurt his feelings. — Miranda

Dear Miranda,
Maybe you could sit him down, and tell him that you just want to take a break so your lungs can get some fresh air. He will probably understand that. Tell him that you will let him know when you want to smoke and that it is nothing against him or his weed, just your body is telling you to slow down a bit. For any smokers out there who are having a hard time with the effects of smoke on your lungs, there are always edibles, and I personally wouldn’t go a day without my Volcano vaporizer.

Hey Hyapatia,
When my girlfriend eats edibles, she gets really horny, and we go at it all night long. She gets freaky too, we have some special clothes and toys to play with. But when she doesn’t eat edibles, our sex life is pretty boring. How can I get her to eat edibles all the time? — Hanz 

Dear Hanz,
The point is, does SHE want to eat edibles all the time? Other than sex, how does she function on edibles? Can she get her work done and keep up with life all day? Or does it make it hard for her get up in the morning, focus and be productive? Is she working through a fog when she is high on edibles? These are things you might consider because I am sure she will when you suggest she use edibles more often. It sounds to me like she is able to let loose and enjoy herself better when she is high, but it is entirely up to her to decide when she wants to take advantage of that.

Hey Hyapatia,
My boyfriend seems to have a problem. Whenever we get high, he can’t get it up. What is it in pot that makes guys not be able to get it up? — Stacy 

Dear Stacy,
I have never heard of this happening. All the guys I have been with, talked to or heard about, have never had problems in bed after smoking. Does he get it up with no problems when he isn’t high? Are you smoking sativa or indica, because you might want to switch it around and experiment, but I don’t think pot is causing this problem. Honestly, I would advise your boyfriend to talk to his doctor. It is nothing to be embarrassed about.  Lots of men have this problem. That is why there are so many pills to help guys get it up. Think about it, if it weren’t a common problem, there would be no need for these pills. I don’t know how old he is, but as men get older, it becomes more difficult to perform. I don’t think the weed has anything to do with it. I wish you both the best!

Ask Hyapatia all of your questions regarding stoner sexuality. Email her at hya@hightimes.com
Last Week’s Stoner Sex: Boob Worries, Sexual Experiments, New Love & Being Used

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