A Violent J Christmas Story

Merry Christmas, ninjas! From us to you! What better way to celebrated the holidays right here in the underground that with a Christmas story from everyone’s favorite uncle Violent J!

Over on the Insane Clown Posse Facebook page there been a short story posted about when J encountered the fat man back when he was 21.

You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, but mostly you’ll just laugh.

Check out the entire Christmas story by CLICKING HERE or check that out below.

Once again, I hope you ninjas are having a wonderful holiday season. Much Christmas love.

On a cold Christmas Eve back when I was 21, I remember I waited for Santa Clause to come to my house all fuckin night. Just like always though, that fat, red bitch never came. I guess my broke ass neighborhood don’t get the have a fat Christmas… ever! The bus don’t run on Christmas Eve, so I walked like 6 miles all the way over to the fuckin rich neighborhood. The sun was just about to come up but it was still dark. Bam! There he is! I seen Santa coming out the chimney on some big ass richly house. He just finished hooking up them people with all kinds of fat shit and I was fuckin’ super salted! I had a rifle down my pant leg that I pulled out and racked. Just as Santa was about to get back on his sled I popped him! PAP! Fuck! I missed and hit Prancer The fuckin’ Raindeer. Damnit! I’m an animal lover so I hated myself for that but I kept bustin’ ‘cause I was on a mission! PAP! PAP! PAP! I plugged that fat mother fucker once right center in the belly! Fuck yeah! PAP! PAP! I hit him in the ribs and just below his left knee. That big bitch dropped and rolled off the roof! He fell in some bushes and then he rolled off that onto the snowey lawn. I ran up to him and seen he was still alive. I asked him “Why don’t you visit the poor kids, why do all the rich kids get the fat presents and the poor kids always get coal and shit? He was breathing hard and you could tell he was in pain and he must if known he was dying. But he turned his head and looked right at me and just smiled. Then his words staggered out as he said “Tuff luck kid. The poor ain’t worth it. You people… just… ain’t… worth it”… Then he started laughing,spittin’ up blood and coughing all at the same time. Then he stopped, looked at me again and with his last words said… “Ho Ho Ho… Hoe!” I took the but of my rifle and smashed his head in like a watermelon with a beard and hat. The snow, 3 feet all around his head was spread out a blood red slush. It was pretty nasty but he deserved that shit. I grabbed what was left in his sac which was still some pretty decent shit and I walked home with it hangin over my shoulder. That morning I gave the gifts out to all the other family’s on my block, including my own. That year we all got to wake up to some fat gifts and goodys like the rich folks do every year. We loved Christmas that year boy, that shit was dope! I thought I took Santa out for good but the very next year he was back again like it never even happened. I don’t know if it was a new Santa or what, but he was back bringing big Christmas gifts to rich kids and Ho Ho Hoing us the fuck out like I never even killed him! Again the poor didn’t get shit and only rich people got the good goodys. I didn’t take Christmas away from everybody after all, and that’s a good thing I suppose. But I’ll never forget the time I shot Santa in the gut and busted his melon wide open on them people’s snowy red lawn, and brought Christmas to the hood. Merry Christmas everybody! I hope you all have a awesome holiday!!! I love you all! … Violent J

from Faygoluvers