Stoner Sex: Erections, Age Gaps, Public Sex & Strange Situations

Dear Hyapatia,
The doctor wants to put me on some medication that will make it hard for me to get an erection. I don’t like that side effect, but he keeps insisting I need the medication. I don’t want to lose my girlfriend. What should I do? — Scott

Dear Scott,
If the doctor thinks this is an important medication for your health, I would go on it. If it is difficult to get an erection after you have been on the new drug for a few weeks, then go to your doctor and ask for something to help you with that side effect. There are many good medications to help men with erections on the market. You don’t have to give up your sex life. There are other ways to please your girlfriend that don’t involve a rock hard erection that lasts for hours. Your girlfriend should understand and be supportive, if she really cares about you. It is more important to live another day rather than to get an erection. Now, with modern medicine, you can do both. I don’t know your condition, and I am not a doctor, but it wouldn’t hurt to do some research to find if there are any natural remedies that might help you instead. All of our medicines come from plants. My next Native Strength episode (airing in the DC area and on Roku) is all about healing with plants.

Dear Hyapatia
I have a girlfriend that is 18, and I am 29. A lot of my friends are against our relationship. They say I am too old for her and that I am corrupting her. She and I love to get high together and talk until the sun comes up. Of course, we have some pretty hot sex too. I don’t understand why everyone has to rain on our parade. We are perfectly happy together. Is there something wrong with us, and we just don’t get it? We don’t think there is that much of an age difference to be concerned over, and we are in love. She smoked weed before she met me, so I am not influencing her behavior in that way. What do you think? — Elija 

Dear Elija,
It is no one’s business, really, as long as you are happy. I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. The only people who should be able to comment are her parents, and since she is over 18, there is nothing illegal. There are 18-year-olds that are very mature for their age. Then again, most of us don’t have to look too far to see someone in their 70’s acting like they are in grade school. So you two might have much more in common than just your age would suggest. Eleven years is not that big of a difference.

Dear Hyapatia,
My girlfriend likes to have sex in public places. She and I go out, and I think it is going to be a normal evening and all of a sudden she disappears beneath the table. It was kind of fun at first, but the more it happens, the more I figure it is just a matter of time before we get caught. It scares me, and I am getting to the point where I just simply can’t do it anymore. She takes this as a challenge and works even harder to get me going. I really like her and don’t want to lose her, but I don’t want to be arrested and have to notify my neighbors every time I move, if you know what I mean. How can I get her to give this up? — Jeremy

Dear Jeremy,
It seems like this is something she really enjoys. I understand you not wanting to get in trouble. Perhaps, there is some way you can safely go out and have a good time, and then on occasion, go out to a place where it is safe for you to have sex in public. There are many swingers that go to clubs just to spice up their own private sex life and never actually change partners. This might be an option for you. Or you could visit a nudist camp that welcomes swingers. There are many of them out there that do. This might be a safe way to keep everyone free, happy and sexually satisfied. 

Dear Hyapatia,
I have a strange situation. My current girlfriend is the daughter of a former girlfriend. I did not plan this, it just happened. I didn’t even know who my girlfriend’s mother was until I recognized her mother’s voice on the speakerphone. It is really an awkward situation. They don’t know it yet, and I am trying to avoid that. I would just break up with her and forget the whole thing, but I really like her a lot. — James

Dear James,
What if you decide she is the one for you, and you end up getting married? The truth would have to come out then. Do you think it could go that far? If so, you might want to plan ahead on how you will break the news! You got into this position honestly and with nothing to be ashamed of, so don’t feel bad; just lay the cards on the table, when you feel ready.

Ask Hyapatia all of your questions regarding stoner sexuality. Email her at
Last Week’s Stoner Sex: Broken Penises, Female Ejaculation, Low Sex Drive & Birth Control


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